It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
