And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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