ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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