Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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