it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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