her vagine was all disorganized.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
porn star boner night. come get it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie