So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS