and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.