So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
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ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
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Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great