We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My vagina is very pro this idea
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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