If that was your dad, he is hot
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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