how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
