no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I have fence marks all over my body
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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