K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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