now i know why i became what i already was.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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