I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
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