Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Meaty_McSausage hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(432): View more from Texas

TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!

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(407): View more from Florida

so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all

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(858): View more from California

Life is so much better after having sex.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.

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(561): View more from Florida

I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in

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(407): View more from Florida

So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves

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(404): View more from Georgia

He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.

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