So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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