What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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