woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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