just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
