I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
