Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
