i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
