i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
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