no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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