I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
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yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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