Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
