I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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