Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
