When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
