my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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