i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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