I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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