She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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