I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
