So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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