I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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