I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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