i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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