Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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