This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize