What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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