pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
