I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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