some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
