I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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