I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
