This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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