Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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