But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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