Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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