hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
