My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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