how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
