I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
