Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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