And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
